My life as a full-time family caregiver started July this past year. I had lived for 20+ years in Los Angeles, the 2nd largest national metropolitan area, and have now moved outside a rural Texas community of about 1,500 people. I arrived on the 1st day of the longest and worst heat wave this area has had on record. Boy — did I ever wish for those nice coastal breezes on the west side of LA. I also chose to move in with my parents because living in the DFW metro area would require a 1 1/2 hour drive each way any time I wanted to visit. After being away for over 20 years, it was important to me to be able to spend time with my parents, especially my mom who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, and enjoy things like cooking and eating meals together, going out on outings as work and time allows, etc. And now that I’ve been here for over six months, I’m beginning to realize what other caregivers have said about ‘losing themselves’ and am trying hard to find ways to do things I enjoy on my own at times or with others besides my parents. I love them so much and very much feel the need to be here and spend time with them. But there’s a part of me that needs stimulation from MY peer group, other professionals and friends. I have a great list of what it is I think I’d love to do either on my own, with a club or with good friends: bike riding, visiting museums, wine tasting, cooking together with friends, watching musical performances, laughing until my stomach hurts at a comedy club and more. What I haven’t figured out is how to do it in a disciplined way for myself each week. One thing I have been successful at is reconnecting with my love of reading. I discovered the small, but well-stocked Whitney public library and read at least 7 books since fall. But that’s an activity that doesn’t stimulate me socially, verbally or physically like the other activities I mentioned above. Reading lets me escape from my life here for a short time, but only in my head.
I’m very curious if any of you can provide any feedback or insight into how you’ve ‘managed’ being true to yourself while being a 24/7 caregiver? Or, do you relate to my description above? Are routines as important to a caregiver as they are to the person with dementia/Alzheimer’s? I’d appreciate anything at all that you feel like sharing. And, remember we’re all Together In Transition.
Catherine
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